The Beginning

The water was still as I flew over it, like a mirror almost; I watched as the shadow of this sad excuse for a plane floated over the waters of some dark lake. I was alone. Upon a journey: within, outward, and beyond... My father’s reddened eyes pierced my heart, It seems like only yesterday I had arrived at his front steps saying “I’ve decided to move in” “when” he inquired… “Now, Dave is bringing my things from the car now” It was a long hard and somewhat neurotic 2 .5 years… I was 16 then going into my junior year in an urban jungle called Lehman H.S. in the Bronx. I’m now freshly 18 and heading towards the ambiguous depths of the unknown. I’m not sure what’s in store for me, what I’ll do once I get there, who I’ll meet and who I’ll become… nothing to me is quite clear… it’s all a mix and match game, I’ll do whatever fits in best at the moment. I mean that’s what matters right? The moment… people always say to never live by the moment but someone once said that “life is an experiment and well we are the scientists” So, I guess I’ll try that one for now, Life is an experiment and I’m just mixing chemicals.. New York girl from Kenya, add to all the way across the country, then stir… and watch, I guess…
Within the last two weeks, my life has changed drastically. God has flipped my life upside down, yet again; it seems to be our thing. Back track 2 weeks from today and I was sitting in my room looking straight into my dreams… I was applying for a $25,000 loan. I was on my way to study international political economic & democracy with a focus in the Middle East and a minor in Arabic at the university of Bridgeport, CT. My room was filled with cool things for my dorm all pink, brown and beige. I was set, my life was clear for take off! Right? No! wrong!!!! After excitingly pushing the final enter on my key board to await the decision to be accepted for the loan. After singing another dumb tune in my head and smiling thinking of all the wonderful things I’ll do in Bridgeport, making planes… After all the excitement and the knowing “I just know, this is right” I got denied! It said… In big letters “DECISION: DENIED!!!!!!” after reading that I swear I could hear the devil chuckle. Little did I know, it was god. He was chucking! At me? Yes at me!